Random Unedited Thoughts Weeks After Elections

The fam is fresh from a 3 wk vacation from Biliran. ‘Much needed’ is an understatement because the stress from the recent elections was affecting my health. What I thought was a toothache of massive proportions turned out to be teeth grinding, which I googled to be a subconscious stress related ‘coping strategy’. The pain was severe but waned two days in after I completely disconnected from social media and literally just hung around and did nothing.

I had been neglecting my business previous to that and was on auto – mode and had been putting projects in the back burner. I couldn’t concentrate on anything anyway so it wouldn’t have worked had I tried.

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Business & Writing Priorities

I had been wracking my brain for what business to get into. The problem with me, and this has been such for a long while, is that I am able to do any number of things and naturally I would dream of wanting to make a profitable venture out of it. This has made me unfocused and consequently frustrated. So here I’m going to try and organize what I can do and weight them against each other.

I can cook. I dream of having a nice restaurant and taking care of guests. I would love the experience of having them visit regularly. I would have a brick oven and bake pizzas, high quality bread and meat. Slaving away in the kitchen and going to the market daily isn’t a grind for me and in fact I’d be quite happy doing that.

I can write. I’ve written for a lot of magazines sure but writing a novel is what I have dreamed about doing the longest. In fact I have a particular story idea revolving around my experiences of playing basketball when I was a kid I’ve wanted to write about for at least since my 20s. I’ve started out and I write a paragraph or two when I feel like it. It’s funny how it feels bad when you’re doing it but when you read it later on it’s fairly ok. However of all the ‘things I can do’ this is the most difficult. It’s just hard, man. You’d think it’d be so much easier just sitting there writing something but I’ll be honest I’m not surprised many authors go to drink or drugs to get going.

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Carlos Celdran – Ang Totoong ‘Lodi’.

On March 2008 I wrote how amazed I was at Carlos Celdran but I was one of those lazy people who couldn’t lift their asses long enough to join his tour. He found my blog post and answered with this:

I joined his terrific Imelda tour and met him. I met him a few more times after that once sitting beside him and exchanging small talk about music of all things, to pass the time at an event for bloggers sponsored by a telecom company. I was still writing for PDI at the time.

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On Carlos

My first experience with Carlos Celdran was back in May 2008, when I wrote how I wanted to join one of his tours. Lo and behold he commented and told me I get on for free if I just show up. Of course I went and thoroughly enjoyed an Imelda tour around CCP, information on which I’d never have known if it weren’t for him. I thought he was pretty fair to Imelda when he said how in spite of her grandiose loonyness we wouldn’t have the CCP, and we have her to *gasp* thank. I think about that to this day every time I’m there (such as right now writing this at Starbucks Harbor Square).

I met him again years later at a telco event and we talked a bit, but I doubt he’d remember. There was no doubt though he had alreaady made a fantastic impression on me. Here was the man to which we all truly owe a kind of continuing debt of gratitude. There is no doubt he has done far more for the city and the country than 95% of anyone in power give or take a few. He’s one of those guys who’ll be in the History books for our kids and their kids to study for generations to come. Way after we’re all gone they’ll be putting up a statue of him wearing his weird hat and holding a worn out clear book, for pigeons to sit on and tourists and history buffs to mull over. He’s the real deal. A man out to change the world.

When I think about his lost case against the CBCP, entirely different feelings emerge.

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Anything I Could Think About This Morning

I’ve been sick again. In fact, that’s twice now that I’ve jinxed two vacays planned by Jill due to the same sickness. I feel guilty about that, and about the fact that I’ve once again somehow screwed my health up. Believe me its frustrating, and by no means am I avoiding blame, but it just happens really. One day I’m noticing how I’ve been improving my basketball game and running laps around the condominium parking lot, the next day I’m bending over in pain.

Right now this very moment my two biggest worries are the fact I have to postpone a meeting with my client involving their chief boss because I can hardly walk let alone drive. I’m moving it to 3 days later, and it might probably be no big deal, but I hate having to do that as I’m OC about my clients and I was kinda looking forward to making a good impression. Another worry is that I have to pay up a bill in Mandaluyong but am again unable to because I cannot drive. I’ve managed to ask help with that but I was hoping to do it by myself because I wanted to speak to someone and this was the best opportunity to do so. I can probably go end of the week then. Will have to console myself with that.

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Those That Congratulate You Are Your True Friends

Went for a fantastic walk today from the house to Paseo, the shopping center. Only went halfway back though because I had to shop at Rustan’s for rice. I bought into the brown rice healthy shtick only to be told be Jill that it tastes like cardboard, so I’m feeling like a shmuck right now. Glad I only bought 5 kilos.

Work wise I’m firing on all cylinders to get some business going with some big clients. I had some bad luck with a few ones but there’s nothing I could’ve done about that, so I’ve pretty much closed the door and moved on in my head. Feel much better now frankly.

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