To date, director Wolfgang Petersen has sunk and shot at boats in Das Boot, and turned turtle a smaller boat in The Perfect Storm.
Not content with this, he turns another one on top of its head again in Poseidon. I figure that, as long as there are such things as “rogue waves” (without reference to an X-men character), we’re probably gonna see him flip an oil rig, or how about a whole island next? Wouldn’t that be a great idea for Lost fans?
At any rate, I’m gonna give away a bit of my age here, and admit I have vague memories of the first, 1972 Poseidon, not when it came out, as I’d have been preoccupied with ABC blocks at the time, but during long, boring summer days of pre-cable TV in the 80’s or 90’s, when they’d show the first Poseidon over and over again on RPN 9 (I remember the channel well enough).
Known as The Poseidon Adventure, I very much remember two things: a. The commanding presence of Ernest Borgnine, who just because I remember, is indicative of the kind of special actor that he is, and b., the overall prevailing feeling of despair and sadness pervasive throughout the movie.
The plot is fairly simple: One of those amazing floating hotels that we save up for and fantasize about taking a vacation on sometime in our lives, turns over due to previously mentioned “rogue wave”. Captain reassures remaining passengers inside Ballroom that ship is safe even upside down. Unlikely hero decides that isn’t so, and attempts to save his hide via daredevil mission to get to bottom of ship (and then what? I used to wonder..).
Bunch of varied Captain doubters join up. They deal with issue after issue, determined to go up the floor to the next, then the next, and so on, very much like a video game (which means this most likely will have one). Ballroom Captain believers (and Captain) perish in violent underwater death, including a favorite singer (more on her later), ship takes in water floor by floor, and our hero and unlikely gang is chased by water as they find every way to go up and out.
In those long summer months being a brain-dead bored kid watching TV, The Poseidon Adventure represented, well, adventure. The Captain and remaining passengers laugh, mock and threaten our hero and his gang, (whoever he was), and you sort of cheer him on as they find out that everyone died eventually for not following him. There is constant infighting regarding strategy within the group, and most important of all, there was the undoubtable feeling of dread and utter likelihood of a death inside cramped, cold and claustrophobe inducing quarters, while sneaking inside a vent or running along gangways, tons of water gurgling, lapping at your feet waiting for you to slip and fall.
Flashforward to 2006, with hopefully more brain activity this time, Poseidon had NONE of these. We are treated to breathtaking CGI from the very start of the film, most of the middle, and more studio and computer wonderment throughout. There were a few attempts at making characters that we should care about, but that exercise is eventually wasted on the fact that they’re reduced to a bunch of running / swimming – for their – dear – lives survivors later.
Many of them just die. Imagine a religious, claustrophobic stowaway girl with issues about her brother? Sounds interesting. Oops, too late, she’s dead. A drunk with issues against the Mayor (Kurt Russell), who was about to say something that would reveal a little more about the guy? Whoops, he’s in the drink. So what was the point?
The 1972 Poseidon built on a fear within all humans – the fear of drowning and cramped areas. This was prevalent in the 1989 The Abyss, a favorite drowning undersea adventure movie of mine, when Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (hope I spelled that right), were trapped in a tiny undersea craft leaking in freezing water, and Mastrantonio (she really should get a shorter name), decides the best thing to do was for Ed Harris character, the stronger swimmer, to swim to the base pulling her while she intentionally freezes her body and hopefully get revived later. The feeling of absolute despair was strong and you gripped the theater seats in anticipation.
But this year’s Poseidon? You might possibly grip the seats, but only to level you as you stand up and leave. If there was anyone who would’ve understood this, I thought it’d be Mr. Petersen, if Das Boot was any indication. But no, you get the feeling he rushed this one, deciding on the obvious and unfortunate strategy of leveling the audience with CGI instead of a good story of survival, which the movie was supposed to be about. You never get the feeling they were in any real danger. Everything was well lighted, and the sight of dead bodies floating about was almost comical. In real life, it’d probably be pitch black with very little light, to enhance that ‘trapped in a sinking coffin’ idea.
I recommend this movie for a quick reprieve from the afternoon heat, or when you’ve nothing better to do in between meetings or a date. Otherwise, you’ve no reason to go out of your way to watch it, nor have I to write about it any longer than this point.
Postscript: The movie was bad enough, but they had to kill Fergie. The bastards! Now we’d never know what she was going to do with all that junk. All that junk inside that trunk.
Technorati Tags: posiedon, the poseidon adventure, ernest borgnine, kurt russell, mary elizabeth mastrantonio, the abyss, ed harris, disaster movies, das boot, wolfgang petersen, the perfect storm
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[ratings]
I recently watched Poseidon Adventure. I agree it had a lot more drama than the Wolfgang Petersen remake. Yet it came across as being too preachy about valuing one's life. Maybe it's because Gene Hackman played a disillusioned priest always ranting on and on. Nonetheless it was a lot more believable and there was a genuine sense of panic as opposed to drowning in a computer generated cruise liner.
I recently watched Poseidon Adventure and yes it had more drama than its remake. But it came across as being too preachy about the value of human life, maybe because Gene Hackman's role was a disillusioned priest who kept ranting on and on to irritable levels. Nonetheless, the original was more believable and the sense panic was frightening. As opposed to drowning in a CGi cruise ship with Josh Lucas as the hero saving your wet self.