Tipping Tracters is Fern!! (A review of Cars)

Obviously, animated films are all the rage these days. I read somewhere on the ‘net (too lazy to find it right now) that a majority of the money makers in previous years have been animated films, and so it’s not a surprise we’ve one or two every month for the year, along with Marvel or DC superhero movies and other surefire formulas.

So what would a Hollywood Investor in movies do? Why, look for a Hollywood company that can spit one out as quickly and as efficiently as possible, of course. And who better to do that than Pixar, the current animated film spit-outer of choice, with many a hit (and occasional miss), notched on it’s much talented crew’s belt.

So, if we think like a financial advisor instead of a ‘artiste‘, and consider Cars as a financial investment, would we have a winner? Definitely, much definitely so.

This very American film appeals to everyone because of it’s very international theme – a love of Cars, and all manner and type of them are here to represent very Hollywood stereotypes: There’s Owen Wilson, as self-possessed but with a heart-of-gold lead character Lightning McQueen, no doubt aptly named because, really, I can’t think of a name that says ‘fast’ more than ‘McQueen’. It’s hard not to mistake Owen Wilson’s voice, who has a unique way of talking, and who adds flair to saying things like “No, no, no, no, no!” by putting his own twist in it, going “Nu, nu, nu, nu, nu!”

There’s a great legend in Paul Newman, playing equally legendary, but ruff, gruff and disillusioned former racer Doc Hudson, and finally the small town lovely Sally Carrera, played by Bonnie Hunt, whom I’ve always liked, but is forever ingrained in my mind as support for people like Renee Zellweger (in Jerry Maguire) or Marisa Tomei (in Only You). At any rate she gets top babe billing here, albeit voicing a 2000+ model Porsche 911, but that’s ok.

Lightning is on his way to California for an important tie-breaker race between him, Chick Hicks (voiced by one of my fave actors of all time Michael Keaton), and American race legend Richard Petty, playing ‘The King’, but gets lost along the way and ends up in Radiator Springs, the “cutest little town in Carburetor County”, a town whose heyday was well in the 60’s, where as part of the famed Route 66, it was a nice friendly stopover on the way to the West Coast. Unfortunately, the Interstate changed all that. It’s now nearly empty, and populated by the sparse, but hopeful and colorful rest of the cast.

Lightning is caught by the town’s one and only police car for speeding, and made to repair the road he wrecked. No one knows him as well, so he has to finish it within a week then get to his race, achieving his dream of winning his first ever Piston Cup. Of course as Hollywood stories go, it’s not that simple at all. Nu, nu, nu, nu, nu! As he gets to know the people (err, cars?) of Radiator Springs, he appreciates it’s beauty and history, makes a best friend, meets his mentor and falls in love.

So far, so good. Mr. Hollywood Investor’s got his cast, an always-works formula story, and more importantly, Pixar to come up with great visuals like absolutely stunning graphics of mountains, deep plains and valleys. And let’s not forget the cutesy stuff! Nu, nu, nu, nu, nu! Like lady cars making long lines to the bathroom while male cars just go right in. Luigi, the Ferrari fanatic tire-seller, trying to sell snow tires in the desert. A constantly arguing traveling couple with the wife asking they ask for directions and the man insisting he knows where they’re going. Just like real life, you’d say. People laugh and giggle and love these things, and Pixar delivers. Pixar always delivers.

Although this time, not all the way.

The whole thing comes off smooth as silk, and the surprise ending is gutsy, and delivers lessons that adults would love their kids to learn. But… something about it just doesn’t cut it. The movie is too formulaic, far too ‘safe’, for the viewer to feel any real drama. At no point for example, did I feel that Lightning and Sally’s relationship was threatened, simply because (and I’m sure kids would’ve felt this way too), that he could return to her after the race. And he did, so a wrench is thrown into the biggest conflict-drama point right there.

A greater deal could’ve been made about Lightning and Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), or even Doc and Lightning, but since they were subplots, they kind of ironed out by themselves.

Pixar’s cutesy abilities are terrific, and in fact I still remember Guido, the tire-changing thing (he looks like a cross between a small forklift and a car), changing Lightning’s tires in record time, making the audience almost clap in glee. And everyone is going to love Tipping Tractors, the main attraction in quiet Radiator Springs as introduced by Mater the towtruck, which is too silly to explain so I’d rather let you watch instead. However, the cutesy stuff only works if the main story is holding up it’s end. If it doesn’t, it’s all just that – cutesy stuff.

Pixar might as well change it’s slogan to : “If it’s from Pixar, it must be good!”. They can make even weak stories work with their fancy graphics and immense CGI talent. But a weak story only goes far, and Cars in the end sputters by the wayside.

Technorati Tags: cars, lightning mcqueen, doc hudson, owen wilson, paul newman, bonnie hunt, richard petty, porsche 911

powered by performancing firefox

[ratings]