This week marks the 3rd wifi installation i will do for a client who does not need wifi, but just wants it installed. period. never mind if they never venture from their desks when they work. Never mind if all the computers in their office have been running on a very reliable 100mbits wired LAN for years.
For these discriminating people, i have accumulated tips designed to assist them in the pursuit of their.. rather unique.. goals. To wit:
- Try to find a wall mounted router. If you can’t, find one that’d look nice, and Mighty Bond some metal thingies that’d let you wall-mount it. This is important.
- Place it at the most conspicious place possible in your office or living room. The beauty of this is, you can justify it. Ie:
- God forbid you’ve only got Wifi B. Go to the mall this minute and get yourself a B/G. Make sure this is prominently placed on your device. It doesn’t matter that you’ll never need 54mbps, and that even 11mbps or even 1mbps is plenty fast for you. You do not need the stress of knowing that some guests will know the difference, and say, ‘why B lang?’. Go!
- Again, make sure your device has a large thumping sticker on it saying it’s an (a.) wifi device and (b.) it’s the latest wifi device. Who cares that we take great pains to hide ugly electronic devices and other modern marvels from sight. This is a wifi router, and you need people to see it.
- If these still dont work for you, consider this. Get a wifi router, then buy several wireless application points, and nail them all over your house. Not only will you always have a signal wherever you go, every sucker’s gonna want to know what that is, and you’ll be enveloped in “hey pare you’re such a geek!” heaven for the longest time possible. The beauty is, most WAPs can be wall-mounted. THe prob is, the most conspicious looking WAP i know (Linksys) isn’t, but again, you can have someone Mighty Bond some metal wall-mount screwholes onto it, or have a carpenter make a platform for it on your wall. Remember, the more conspicious, the better.
- Routers allow you to limit those using it through DHCP, filtering, or any number of ways. Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH THIS. Leave everything at default, and let everyone on your neighborhood detect your signal and surf to their hearts delight. Remember to name your SSID (Service Set Identifier) after yourself, your house, or anything that’d make it obvious it’s yours. Remember, you want any notebook or wifi device-carrying dope within 500 meters of your gate to detect your signal. So that not only your neighbors, but (get this) even your neighbours guests will know.
The in-your-face value to that is just off the scale. So the guys next door have new BMW? So what? Your signal is permeating the air they breathe. Let’s see them BEAT THAT.
Guest: wow what’s this?
You: oh, that’s my wifi router.
(pause to let it sink in, then with a pained expression, like you couldn’t be bothered to explain, continue..). I put it there kasi its in the center.. allows for best reception.
Guest: ah ok! (which may or may not means he understands why you slapped a router right between a Malang and an Ang Kiukok).