Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

I read somewhere months ago that Keira Knightley, at the very first premiere of the first Pirates of the Carribean: Legend of Jack Sparrow, held hands with co-stars Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, as I understand now, in an act of support, both giving and receiving, as they sat down along with, I assume, their friends, family, the rest of the cast the Hollywood Press to watch it for the first time.

After several minutes into the movie, Orlando Bloom blurted out, as Ms. Knightley relates, the words “hey, this isn’t so bad!”, or something to that effect.

Above story I remember well for three things, primarily the poignancy of great and famous movie stars such as they seeking and finding solace in one another’s company heading into the release of a film they found reason to doubt. Secondly, suddenly realizing it wasn’t so bad after all, and finally, her honesty in admitting as much, somewhat I imagine, an indication of her youth (she would have been 18 at the time), or just plain good old honesty, with no intention to delude anyone into believing she, or any of them it appears, were any at all confident.

It is sad therefore, that after watching the second of apparently two additional installments of the film no doubt inspired by the success of the first, I am fairly sure that Ms. Knightley will have no tales similar to the above to tell, her honesty and forthcoming character notwithstanding.

Simply because, unlike the first, this movie will likely not elicit the same reaction from Orlando Bloom. Unlike the first, which was surprising, and therefore, entertaining, this second is boring, and ergo, dissapointing.

Why That Is So

Pirates II, strangely enough, reminds me of Colin Farrel’s horrible Alexander, from 2004.

The actors exert great effort and noise. The crew, no doubt, were up their neck in work making props and effects both amazing to look at and quite the way our imagination would have us believe it should, such as ghost ships and war-elephants and giant sea monsters and fancy-dressed warriors.

There are fight scenes. Shouting scenes. Quarrels within the group. Love scenes. More shouting scenes. Scenes of great and wondrous sights. In other words, the movie is begging for your attention.

And then right in the middle of this, as we were sitting there straining to take it all in, I asked my companion if she had any more popcorn. She said sorry, there are only a few pieces, most of them burnt. I ate them anyway, saying this is good popcorn. She agreed, and says she only knows of only one place else in Manila where they have real butter on their popcorn. She told me where and smiled, pleased at herself. You both agree to try it next time you watch a movie, and then both of you turn heads forward to watch the movie again.

Which is not to say Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest does not have its moments. Johnny Depp tries his darndest best to give us a good show, and I suppose he pulls it off occasionally.

After a week or so, I’m fairly sure I know what I’ll remember. I’ll remember having a good dinner, I’ll remember the long trip home. I’ll remember feeling relieved that Jill got home ok, and that sometime through it, we had to go through a long, noisy movie. The highlight of all those memories however, is that sometime during watching it, I learned of a new place where they sell real buttered popcorn.

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1 thought on “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

  1. The first Pirates film wasn't so bad but it wasn't so good either. It was just a vehicle for Johnny Depp to be proud of a film his kids would enjoy watching.  It was as if he was invited to a costume party and he decided to show up at a pirate and still cannot shed the role until he finishes the final installement in the trilogy.Nevertheless, I will still watch it just for the heck of it, :)

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